Anticipation

I can't help it if I'm an optimistic kind of guy. Everything, it seems to me, has an upside and a downside (well almost anything). So I always try to find that good piece and focus on that when presented with a situation.

Latey, for instance, I've been on pins and needles about my Internet company. Well its not all mine, but I am the founder and I own the biggest chunk. Anyway, we have a buyer. But we've had this buyer for going on 13 months. Its amazing how these things can get dragged out. If I hear the phrase "due diligence" one more time, I think I'll have a conniption.

At the present time, we are in the home stretch. We've leaped many a hurdle. We are suppose to close on December 4th. But as everyone seems to take great pleasure in reminding me, many things can still go wrong. So what am I suppose to do. I'm not a good multiplexer, so its hard for me to start my next projects - real estate and another book. I do keep my poker learning web site current and updated, however. But its very hard to concentrate when this huge milestone in my life is dangling in front of me, drifting in and out of sight.

But I found the silver lining - enjoy the state of anticipation. It is, after all, a great feeling - often surpassing the thrill of the thing actually happening. Its just a hard concept to get your arms around. So I've meditated on past good things that have happened to me and tried to recreate my emotions prior to the consummation of said event. My conclusion is that its all about the dream. Whether it happens or not (I shouldn't say that - it is going to happen), I think about the travel I'll be doing with my wife, I get excited about playing in some big poker tournaments, I look forward to spending more time with my eldest two daughters, about getting an RV and heading to Canada, about studying the real estate market and making some super shrewd investments. This makes me happy. I've had some happy days just anticipating. Even if it doesn't happen (knock on wood), I have accomplished a very important thing in just being happy for a period of time. After all, happiness and contentment is a state of mind. The richest person in the world can be miserable, while a poverty stricken Chilean can be ecstatic.

This method of thinking about the world suits me. That's why I play poker, especially poker tournaments. I may not make the money time after time, but each time I miss I know it will make that eventual win that much sweeter.

By the way, I am also anticipating a great Thanksgiving this year. Most of my family seem to be getting together for a few days. Hope you have a good one too. Pleasant thoughts to all.

"How" over "How Much"

We all want money. Right? Count me in. In our American world, money is very important. It buys a lot of great stuff. Most of us are focused like a laser on getting as much of it as we can. But a much overlooked aspect of accumulating money is not just the "how much can we get?" but the "how do we get it?"

The knee jerk reaction is: "Who cares? As long as we get it and the more the better." But if you really think about it, the "How" may be more important.

Lets start with the trust-fund, rich kids of the world. Because the money was simply dumped on them, most of them (there are exceptions of course) drift about, looking for excitement through drugs or sex or other high risk behaviors. They don't have the motivation to go out and develop themselves and as a result, many of them are not what I would call happy. They don't reach their potential.

Then you have the lottery winners. If you ever read about what happens to these people after they made their big cash, a majority of them end up in all kinds of trouble, lots of problems and more than a few suicides.

Finally you have the greedy businessperson. They try to screw over anyone and everyone in order to maximize their take on any transaction. They push the limits of legal behavior and, to them, ethics is an academic word only. If you can get away with it, its OK. I'd argue many of these people may put on a facade of happiness with all their material possessions amidst their circle of like-minded "friends." But I'd argue that they are in a constant struggle with their conscience. They seek out therapy. They rationalize. But what's done is done. They can never turn back their misdeeds which become clearer and clearer to them as they approach their inevitable demise.

I'd argue that making a nest egg through honest hard work and effort in which you treat everyone you come into contact with in a fair and open manner should be the goal for everyone. Of course, we really need that first $40,000 every year to survive, especially if you have a family to support. But as that number rises, the money becomes less and less a necessity and more of "an extra." When you start to reach the nosebleed status of making millions and millions, it becomes merely a status symbol - a scorecard. When it comes down to it, our mental state is much more important than the size of our house. It's infinitely worth it to nurture your honest and straight-dealing reputation over striving for money at any cost. Having respect as a result of the quality of your character is an invaluable commodity. It doesn't come easy. Many shortcuts will present themselves. Be a poker player and get a "read" on where each road will potentially lead. You may not get filthy rich, but you'll be happier and more content. After all, who would want to be Russ Hamilton or Bernie Madoff. Keep it.

Phew!

I didn't want to leave any of you hanging. My daughter is going to be fine. The lump on her neck had no melanoma, lymphoma or any cancer of any kind. It's what is called a reactive lymph node. Easily treatable. I made camping plans with her to celebrate. We're also goin' into the big apple next weekend.

It's amazing how everything pales in comparison to the health of our kids. Now I can focus on the last days before the closing of the sale of my company. I'm going to meet the new owners today for lunch. Ciao.

Was George Right?

Lately one episode of "Seinfeld" has been ringing in my ears. I can't remember much about it except that something good had just happened to George and he becomes very nervous and paranoid. His reasoning was that, nothing good happens just by itself. It is always accompanied by a bad even that is as bad as the good event is good.

I laughed along with everyone else. "That's a good one, George. That George, what a flake."

But yesterday, I had some very good news. I can't go into it now, but I promise to reveal it in a future post. I'm all smiles and having a good time chatting to my buddies at the company I founded, when I get a call. It's my ex-wife - who only calls me directly when something bad has happened to one of my daughters. I can't bear to answer, so I send it to voice male. After my cold sweat subsides (her name and voice always seem to do that to me), I check the message. My #2 daughter has a suspicious lump on her neck. My good news paled in comparison to this shock. This 17 year old is the happiest, most upbeat, well adjusted (and talented and smart and . . .[I could keep going on]) person I have ever known. I immediately call her and she's taking it like a trooper. They did a biopsy and we'll know more on Monday. I know it is just an inflamed cyst or swollen lymph node and nothing more. I reassure her. We joke around like we always do. Everything is going to be fine.

Being the Other Person

In poker, some of the most important skills have nothing to do with cards. One such skill is the ability to transport your consciousness into the body and spirit of another person. The poker player becomes the other player. As hard as that sounds to do, its actually very logical and a common skill among top tier players. In fact, how often have you looked at a hand that you may have just been observing and you thought; "Its obvious he had that hand. What other hand would he have played like that."

Sure its much easier to understand a hand once you see the cards at the end, but the skill of putting a player on a hand is not some mystical skill that requires ESP or a sixth sense. Its a two fold process. You use logic to determine what the range of hands could be. Then you fit that logic with the capabilities and style of the player(s) involved. The result is often a very few number of possible hands that are likely. As you become a better player, you'll start to incorporate more personality traits, more setting specific facts and there is actually no end to how good you can be at this. That is why even the best players claim that they are still improving all the time. Of course I talk about this extensively and provide exercises in my online poker courses.

This skill is also a critical skill in business. As I mentioned in an earlier blog, I'm involved in some long and tedious negotiations regarding the sale of an Internet company I founded ten years ago. It surprises me how weak many business people are in this critical skill. I think it is ego more than anything else that keeps people from trying to put themselves in the other persons shoes. The hardest thing for many people is the process of letting go of all your wants, needs, tendencies and personal characteristics. These traits are what make us who we are. Its like letting go of the self. But this must be done before you can refill the now empty vessel with the traits of the other person. This takes practice and a will. Then you have to have the faith in yourself to follow through on the resulting read.

This is not what they teach in Business School. I should know after two business degrees and 15 years of university teaching experience. What would really be useful for the budding and mature businessman and woman is an intense course in reading an opponent in poker. The only way to get into the head of your competitor, vender, buyer or customer is to get out of your own first. I'm in the process of setting up a Poker/Business Skills Conference in Vegas in the near future. It'll be the business training of the future. See you there.

Poker/Life/Happiness

I saw an interesting thing at the poker table I had never seen before. A young, conservative-looking fellow was about to sit down at the table, but before he did, he clutched a cross that was hanging around his neck, looked skyward, closed his eyes, kissed his icon and genuflected.

Did this guy serious think that the gods would favor him now that he blessed himself or whatever he did? Lets get something straight here. There are no poker gods. Nothing but probabilities determines winners in any given session and, in the long run, you need to know what you're doing if you want to come out ahead.

This is not to say that I eschew the spiritual. Absolutely not. Although I'm Jewish, I've always found myself most comfortable with the Buddhist approach. Peace and harmony must be found from within. All things go in cycles and are interconnected. Things are never too good or too bad. Moderation. Acceptance. Humbleness. Almost an indifference leads to true contentment.

Think of it this way. There are six important aspects of our life; (1) Relationships; (2) Our Health; (3) The health of those whom we love; (4) Career; (5) Financial; (6) Art (or hobbies, art and passions). Hardly ever, if ever, will all these parts of our life be going great at the same time. Some will go well, while other flounder. Even within each category, we'll have sub-aspects that are going well and sub-aspects that are hurtin'. Accept that this is how things are. Work on what needs working, but don't sweat the bad stuff.

For me, poker has been a tough road to hoe as of late. I'm feelin' like poor Utah in Vegas. I get kings, someones got aces. I hit a straight, someones got a higher straight. Sometimes it goes like that. Its the nature of probabilities. They are streaky. But if something isn't goin' well, consider it as an opportunity. The 'ol lemonade from lemons way of thinking. Now when I go to the poker room, I'm very focused on lowering my risk at the cost of winning a big hand. I'm practicing low risk poker. For example, instead of raising just enough to keep one caller in when I've got pocket aces, I now go all in. I'll take the small win during a cold spell. I'm workin' on the low risk gear. Keeping all gears in tip top shape will only help your game. Also, I take this opportunity to focus on bad streaks for a new course on my poker education site.

But as it so happens, one of my weak relationships has improved markedly. I don't think I did anything different (I may have without realizing it.), but things just suddenly got warmer and happier.

Also, as I mentioned in the last entry, my first business is close to being sold which would be a boost for my financial situation and for my career goals. I'll give you an update on this soon as the lawyer cloud drifts away.

I hope most of your six aspects are doing well.

So you want to Start a Company

I haven't talked much at all about the company I started many moons ago. Since things have been heating up there recently, its been on my cranial front burner.

First some background. for those of you who are interested in starting your own business and for the just curious. I was a professor in a business school at a small, regional, New England university in 1994 when I walked into my office and my computer had sprouted speakers. I played around with some sound files and with PowerPoint and immediately felt that this was the learning tool of the future. You could put any kind of image on the screen and have a friendly voice explain things to you. You could play the class over and over again until you got it. The professor needed to just record his lecture once and from then on would only need to add updates and improvements.

Fast forward to 2001. I was pretty much burned out on academic life. One introductory class I had taught 50 times. So I lined up some investors and set out to create an online company that delivered continuing education credit to insurance agents. It was a slow and arduous journey.

Today we have two potential offers for the company. In two or three months this long adventure may finally be over. I won't suddenly become rich, but at least I won't have to worry about how to pay for college for my four offspring. But it's never over until the check has cleared the bank and at least three or four more steps remain before that happens. I'll keep you posted.

What I wanted to talk about here are the most important lessons I've learned from this process. If anyone is interested in the full story, I'll be writing a book about the whole experience. Stay tuned for that. Anyway, here are the lessons that stand out for me at this point.

1. Hook up with someone who has been through the process before AND who is highly ethical. You'll need him/her all through the journey. I was SO lucky to find an initial investor/co-founder who turned out to be the most honest and honorable person I have ever met.
   
2. Never give up. Whenever you run into a road block, you should think; "What are my options for solving this problem?" Not; "Oh no, this isn't going to work."
3. Keep your costs as low as possible.
4. Pay attention to your corporate legal papers. Little things that don't seem important in your Shareholders Agreement, often are HUGE later on (like now for me).
5. Let things simmer. After you implement something new, don't rush to judgment. Give things some time. It'll also give you some down time to do something else. It'll also help you to avoid popping a blood vessel. Burn out is a big problem.

In the end, nothing is more career satisfying or just plain fun for me then creating an entity from nothing. Actually hiring people. Seeing that first sale. Watching things grow. Actually taking a salary. I tried to enjoy every step along the way.

However, what continues to amaze me is the greed in which many people are trapped. I, unfortunately, got some greedy %*$#& involved who turned out to not care about anything except themselves. These unhappy people were the biggest disappointment for me. People who I thought were decent turned out to be something else. That's the biggest reason why I'm praying I cash out now. Greedy, unhappy people are no fun to deal with and if its not fun - I don't want to do it.